; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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