did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Someone shattered a urinal.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
