anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
