absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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