I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
