forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize