I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
