it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
