That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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