His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This is my gift to your gina
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
