So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
