dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
