i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
