Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My feet surprised me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
