we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
