Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
