we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
