i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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