clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
