I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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