my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
