Non-Jews are for practice
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
