I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
