He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize