Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
