ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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