I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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