Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
