just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
