Swine flu. Run for my life!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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