I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
