All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
