We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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