I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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