wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
