My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
