was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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