it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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