they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Say something about gay babies.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
