My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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