why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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