Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
