with your own penis?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
