the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize