Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
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I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pants are for mortals
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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