i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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