susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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