if only i could text you this smell
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
