I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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