You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
