is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
