I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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