Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
