we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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