but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize