you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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