Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
