he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
