You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
