so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
