She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
How's work?
Spinning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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