SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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