please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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