it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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