Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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