you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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