just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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