Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
