There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
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Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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