I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
